Forgiveness by definition:
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
All of us have been hurt and/or offended by someone at one time or other. Even someone as close as a parent. A hurt or offense can be intentional or it could be a simple slight (the offender simply did not think before they spoke or did something).
Each hurt or offense leaves spiritual scars. Moreover, because it is a spiritual act, we do not outwardly see the scar; we continue walking through life as though we are all right, okay. I love God and all is well. However, a spiritual scar is mirrored in the natural just like a cut that has been made and will form a scar as in the process of trying to heal.
Of course, there are levels of offenses and hurts. Some we can easily forgive and move on and some that has cut into our soul and anytime it is touch causes us to relive the offence all over again. Have you found times when someone simply mentions something and for some “unknown” reason you go way overboard with your response. Have you experienced times that you can simply be driving along, or sitting alone and a wave of uncontrollable tears wash over you? No one has said or done anything to you. Sometimes it comes in a form of indiscernible dread or fear. You can’t explain it but you know that it’s real.
I have heard people say “I will forgive, but I won’t forget!” This is like washing a white dress, drying it, pressing it and then throwing it on the ground. It is as if I know I should forgive, no, need to forgive but I am still holding on to the memory of the thing because they hurt me.
For personal reasons and the hope that I can help move some people, I know, from the place of “I will, but I won’t forget, so that we might live a fuller and God-filled, ordained life